Dating Bytes debut episode starts off with a very controversial issue, one night stands! Our host Matt Scanlan aka DJ Love Hz discusses what it takes to get laid in just one night. Guests for this podcast include our Co-Host Jessie Graham, our producer James Rodney and our gossip correspondent from GossipOverload.com, Whitney Tulio.
Matt: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Dating Bytes, the podcast about dating in an online world. My name is Matt Scanlan, and I'm your host. I'm accompanied by the beautiful and always lovely Jessie Graham.
Jessie: Hello, everyone. Welcome to Dating Bytes.
Matt: Joining us as well is our very talented and very funny producer, James Rodney.
James: What's up?
Matt: What's going on, James? And, sitting in with us today later on will Whitney Tulio from gossipoverload.com, filling us in on gossip around the world. With this being the first podcast, we need to get to some critical issues like who we are, and what this is all about. Dating Bytes is about the world of online dating and everything to do with finding yourself a life partner or even just a midnight shag. That's the fun with online dating. It's discreet while being personal.
We'll be talking about straight relationships, same-sex relationships, monogamous relationships, polygamous. We'll be talking about fashion, grooming, celebrity gossip. We'll be talking about dating through the ages. We'll be bringing in guests, we'll be accepting your e-mails, we'll be responding to your tweets and, most of all, we'll be talking about sex. How to get it, how to keep it, and how to do it right. As I said earlier, my name is Matt Scanlan. I am your host, but right now I want to introduce you to rest of my team, here. In particular, the beautiful woman beside me, Jessie Graham.
Jessie: Hey, guys. How's everybody doing?
Matt: Hey, Jessie. How are you?
Jessie: I'm great. I'm great. I'm really excited about this podcast. Something that I've had an idea to do for a long time now. I'm really happy to finally get it up and going. I'm so happy to be sharing it with you, Matt, and you, James.
James: Thank you. I'm excited to share it with you.
Jessie: I think it's going to be really fun. I think we're going to get a lot of stuff about dating, relationships, and sex figured out, here. That's why I'm here, pretty much. I've been single for a while, and I've been dating for a couple years. I've been dating all sorts of guys from rich businessmen to losers.
Matt: Why don't you tell us about how you're living downtown in Toronto?
Jessie: I'm living downtown in Toronto.
Matt: How old are you?
Jessie: I'm 25.
Matt: 25. And you're single and living alone?
Jessie: Single. Living alone. Just trying to find a boyfriend, I guess. That's why I'm doing this podcast, to find out how to get one and how to keep one. That's been my problem, I think, trying to keep one.
Matt: You and I have a working relationship already, especially now. We've talked about your relationships in the past.
Jessie: We have, we have.
Matt: I've tried to give you a little dating advice here and there.
Jessie: Totally. That's why we're bringing it to you guys for everyone to listen to because it is interesting what we talk about.
Jessie: We might as well let the rest of the world hear.
Matt: Why not? James, why don't you tell us about yourself?
James: Well, my name is James Rodney. I'm 25. I'm pretty much an overall cool dude. I wanted to start this podcast to answer some questions that I had about dating. I'm sure other people have some of the same questions about dating and sex, and whatever. It'll be good to have this open forum discussion every week. We can learn new things and teach new things.
Jessie: You're single, right?
James: Yeah, I'm single. Hell, yeah. Every day, all day.
Matt: I am not. I'm a 30-year-old guy. I'm living downtown in Toronto, as well. I've been in a relationship for the last few years. It's kind of an open thing, so I still kind of check the scene a bit.
Jessie: What do you mean by kind of an open thing?
James: She doesn't know about it.
Matt: It's open for me, closed for her. Well, she's young. She's 23. I was in a long relationship before that, eight years. Now, I'm just trying to have some fun and trying to see what else is out there before I get locked down for the rest of my life. The ball and chain, as people like to refer to it as.
Jessie: Maybe you need to be single, then.
James: I call it the ball and prison.
Matt: Maybe I will be after she hears this.
Jessie: Yeah, I'm thinking so.
Matt: Well, that's us. We're going to bring in Whitney Tulio now. So, let's get to some gossip.
Whitney: Hey, guys. How's it going?
Matt: Hi, Whitney. How are you?
Whitney: Good. Thank you, so much. This is coming straight from gossipoverload.com, which is my website. Shameless plug.
Jessie: What kind of gossip?
Whitney: All kinds of celebrity gossip. Breaking news, inside stories, blind items, the whole deal. But, today, we don't have blind items. We just have straight celebrity gossip. Josh Hutcherson, I'm sure you guys are familiar with him as Peeta from this Summer's Blockbuster, and sure to be the new Twilight, the Hunger Games.
Jessie: Oh, yeah. He's a babe.
Whitney: He is a babe. And, he's going to look a little bit different. He just got a nose job. Boyfriend was spotted coming out of a plastic surgeon's clinic with a taped up nose and two black eyes.
Whitney: He claims it was because he had a deviated septum, but insiders are saying it was actually the heads of Sony who are running the Hunger Games who wanted him to get it fixed for the next few movies. He went under the knife and looks a little bit different, but we'll see how that goes. Speaking of good looking men, the cast of Magic Mike did an interview. Oh, I know.
Jessie: Oh, my god.
Whitney: If you fellows don't know what Magic Mike is, it's the new stripper movie starting basically every good looking guy in Hollywood. The cast of Magic Mike is on Entertainment Weekly this month. Channing Tatum opened up about the subject of the movie.
James: I hate that guy.
Whitney: Channing Tatum?
James: Yeah. He's terrible.
Whitney: You're the only one.
Jessie: He's the hottest.
Whitney: He's gorgeous.
James: Yeah. He just blinds girls with his good looks and he's like "I'm going to cover this up with my good looks, but I'm actually a terrible actor."
Matt: It's true. Look at that name.
Whitney: And he's kind of dumb.
Matt: That guy could not have been born with that name and that body. That was all planned.
Whitney: He was born with that name, but what he wasn't born with was his original stripper name, because before he was Channing Tatum the actor, he was a stripper.
James: He's still a stripper.
Whitney: It turns out, as he mentioned in the Entertainment Weekly cover article, the Magic Mike movie was based loosely on his life before he became an actor.
Jessie: Well, the guy can dance, so that explains it.
Matt: He is a good dancer.
Whitney: He can dance. According to these guys he can't act, but what he can do is look very good.
Jessie: And shake his ass.
Matt: [inaudible 6:23] Sandra Bullock.
Whitney: Exactly. While we're on the Channing Tatum subject, are you guys familiar with Fifty Shades of Gray?
Matt: It's the world I live in.
Jessie: You know what? I should be. But, I don't really know about it. I've heard about it, that it's like the soft core porn that all these women are into. But what is it about?
Whitney: Okay. You guys know Twilight, right? There's a woman named E. L. James. She writes under that name, but her real name is Erica Leonard. She used to write fan fiction about Twilight, which is basically what a bunch of lonely people do online. They rewrite Twilight to have Bella and Edward have sex with each other. This woman wrote one that was like ten thousand words. It was very in-depth, very detailed, and very erotic. A publisher realized how many hits it was getting per day, so they offered her a book deal to publish it as a book, as long as they changed the names of Edward and Bella.
Jessie: So, it was originally based on Edward and Bella?
Whitney: Yeah, it is. It's a fan fiction, but they changed the names of it.
Jessie: Oh, okay.
Whitney: Now, it's being made into a movie.
James: Fan fiction goes back to Star Trek, and stuff. There were only so many episodes of the original, people started rewriting their own interpretations of the story.
Whitney: It's been around forever.
James: That's where it comes from.
Whitney: Yes. But, this is dirty fan fiction. It is very sexually charged. The lead role for the movie that's coming out based on Fifty Shades of Gray is going to James Rodney's favorite actor, Channing Tatum. So, he's going from stripper role in Magic Mike to oversexed role in Fifty Shades of Grey, which I'm so excited to see.
James: And, the step after this is male porn star. We've all seen it before. We know where it's going.
Whitney: My fingers are crossed for that.
Jessie: On the topic of Fifty Shades of Gray, aren't people saying it's really empowering for women because it's making them feel way more comfortable watching porn and stuff?
Whitney: Well, it is. This book has gone to number one on the New York Times' bestsellers list, so quickly. There were millions of people who read it beforehand before it became a book online. People are talking about it. Nobody's embarrassed about reading this book. If you are watching people on the subway or streetcar, whatever you're taking, somebody is reading Fifty Shades of Gray in public. They're straight up reading a porn novel about their two favorite vampires. Yeah, it's opening up all sorts of doors for people. It's great.
Jessie: That is great.
Whitney: I'm excited to see it on the big screen with big Channing.
James: I wonder if they're going to start doing that with more movies, now.
Whitney: Just making them sexual?
James: Probably. It's going to be like porn parodies, but really high budget.
Whitney: High budget porn parodies. All right. That's what we have for gossipoverload.com.
Matt: Thank you, very much, Whitney.
James: Thanks, Whitney.
Whitney: My pleasure.
Matt: Now, moving onto our topic of the day, we're talking about one-night stands. Whitney is going to be sitting here with us, giving her opinions, as well.
Whitney: Yes, I am.
Matt: Let's talk about it, guys. How do you get a one-night stand? What is your definition of a one-night stand? How do you get it? What's going on? Let's get this one off the table. Have you guys partaken in a one-night stand?
Jessie: I have.
Matt: I have.
James: I am a one-night stand.
Whitney: He's a walking one-night stand.
Matt: And for yourself?
Whitney: No. I'm a relationship girl. One night stands do not interest me.
Matt: Why is that?
Whitney: I don't know. I'm traditional in terms of the bedroom. I'd rather have an emotional relationship with somebody before I have a physical one.
Jessie: They seem good when you're drunk, but then the next morning when you wake up and you're sober, you regret it.
Whitney: You have to do the walk of shame.
Matt: Okay. Let me ask you, who is the number one? Who would you crawl over broken glass for to get a piece of that ass?
Whitney: Conan O'Brien.
Matt: You're kidding me, right?
Whitney: No. 110%.
Jessie: Oh, you're crazy.
Whitney: The height. The red hair.
Matt: Ginger pubes.
Whitney: The humor. He's so funny. It makes him just unbelievably attractive.
Matt: Okay. So, if you had the chance, would you, or would you try to convince him for a loving relationship like you said?
Whitney: That's different. When it's a celebrity, you've seen him for so long it doesn't feel like a one-night stand. You watch his show, you get to know his personality, and you get to feel like you already do know him, even though it's your first time meeting him.
Jessie: And, if you're going to get the chance, you're going to freaking do it, right?
Matt: Let's just hope that Conan's a fan of gossipoverload.com and follows you.
Whitney: Oh, he is a fan of gossipoverload.com. We've had many conversations about this before.
Matt: That's awesome. Let's hear it from you, Jessie. Let's hear a one-night stand story from you.
Jessie: I don't go out and do them all the time, but I've had some. I don't know. They're okay. If it happens, it happens. Both times, I was drunk. That was my excuse.
Matt: Did you go out with the intention? How does one find a one-night stand? I suppose it's a lot easier for a woman, as well.
Jessie: I was dating this guy and things broke off between the two of us.
Matt: While we're talking about this, I also want you to point out some facts that maybe guys can look for, that'll let a guy know a woman is looking for a one-night stand.
Jessie: Totally, guys. If you see a girl at a bar, and she's drunk, wearing her slutty dress, and flirting with guys all over the bar, then you know she wants to get laid that night.
Matt: So, was that you those nights?
Jessie: It wasn't. No, it wasn't.
James: So, basically, if a girl is too drunk, she wants to get laid that night. That's what you're trying to say.
Jessie: Pretty much because she doesn't want to remember it.
James: We are not responsible for any cases of date rape here.
Jessie: I think if you want to get a one-night stand, for guys and girls, for girls it's obviously a lot easier, but it's going to be easier if the person is under the influence. So, obviously, bars and clubs. Places like that. I went out with my girlfriends one-night. I met this guy and we were chitchatting all night. As the drinks started flowing, we didn't start off talking drunk, but by the end of the night I was drunk. I was still in it enough to make decisions, but I just decided to go with it. I went home with him. Obviously, we had sex. We had a one-night stand. I actually stayed at his place, which I shouldn't have done. It just makes it far more awkward.
Matt: You mean, you stayed the night?
Jessie: I stayed the night, I think because I was drunk.
James: I thought you meant you stayed the next day.
Jessie: I think I actually passed out mid-sex, because I don't even remember it ending.
James: Oh, my god. That is awesome.
Jessie: Yeah. I never thought I'd see the guy again. But, I've seen him three times since that night.
Matt: Has he tried to hook up with you again?
Jessie: One time, I saw him at a bar, and he was trying, but, I was giving him the big time cold shoulder. The other times, I've just seen him on the street.
Matt: If a girl ever passed out in the middle of having sex, I would never try to have sex with her a second time.
Jessie: Yeah, that's true. So, yeah. Back to it. If you want to get a one-night stand, I think a bar or club is your best bet.
Whitney: If you have to question it, if guys have to question anything about it, it's not going to happen for you. If you're wondering if she's too drunk, don't do it. If you think maybe she's not going to have a one-night stand with you, there's a good chance she's probably not going to have a one-night stand. Girls make it very obvious if that's what they're there to do.
Matt: Men have this idea that just by walking past a girl in a cool casual manner, that somehow they're going to turn around and want to blow you. Guys believe that we can almost get anything. That's the arrogance and cockiness of a guy.
Whitney: Pour a lot of liquor down her throat and then.
James: It's not the arrogance. It's just like when guys go out with guns, they think they're going to get a deer tonight. Nobody says they're going to look around and see a deer and maybe they'll shoot it. No, you shoot at every deer you see.
Matt: You don't by the deer a drink.
James: Exactly. You don't go out into the woods and think you're not going to get any deer tonight, you're just there to watch. No.
Matt: We're just here to hang out with a bunch of dudes in a tent late at night.
James: That does sound like my nights at clubs.
Jessie: So, back to one-night stands and out of the forest, another question my girlfriends asked me after this was if we did foreplay or not. If it's a one-night stand, it just seems like you'd just get straight to the sex.
Matt: Well, I don't know. If you're going to have a one-night stand, you've probably already built up a little bit of sexual chemistry.
Jessie: Totally, totally. That's true.
James: What's wrong with one-night stand foreplay?
Jessie: No, I'm just asking if most people do foreplay on a one-night stand, or if they just skip the appetizer and go straight to the entree.
Matt: I'm always down for foreplay. I don't understand why anybody rushes to climax.
Jessie: Yeah, that's true.
Whitney: I have a lot of friends, and Jessie, I'm sure you do, too, that think that oral sex is way more intimate than going for it.
Jessie: And, feels better, too.
Whitney: Yeah, but a lot of people don't want to have that kind of intimacy with their one-night stand.
Jessie: Yeah, totally.
Whitney: When you're having sex, your faces are close to each other. That's okay. It's normal.
Matt: I know exactly what you mean.
Jessie: Especially guys. They don't want to go down on girls on one-night stands.
Matt: You don't know what you're getting into sometimes.
James: That's true.
Jessie: You go down and come right back up.
James: It's a mystery. You have to do the secret test.
Jessie: What's that?
James: Matt, you want to take that one?
Jessie: You have to let us know now. I don't know about any secret test.
Matt: Rodney? I don't think I could let this one out. Then, I'm ruining it for a bunch of guys everywhere. Girls will know they just did the test.
Whitney: I had no idea there was a test.
James: You have to do it in a secretive way, though.
Whitney: You guys are nasty.
James: This isn't what I do, but I've heard somebody did this, and I thought it was hilarious. It's disgusting. But, obviously, you put your fingers down there.
Whitney: You put your fingers down there and smell it after?
James: You don't directly smell it on your own hand, because that's too obvious. So, you either wipe it on the pillow next to where you are, or on her hair so you smell it on her own hair.
Whitney: That's so nasty. You're bad.
James: I didn't say I did it. I'm just saying.
Whitney: So, ladies, next time you see the guy wiping his fingers on things, you know he's giving you the test.
Matt: Or, if he's trying to get a whiff of your hair.
James: Unless he can name your shampoo after, he's fucking lying.
Matt: If he smells your hair and then immediately goes down on you, you know what just happened.
Jessie: Okay, so after the foreplay, whether it happens or not, when you finally get to the sex, are you going all out, buck wild, freaky sex because it's a one-night stand and you're, hopefully, never going to see this person again, or are you just going to do missionary style?
James: Oh, yeah. I want to try out everything until she says no.
Jessie: Right. That makes sense.
Matt: Depends. Are you drunk? Not drunk? Is it daytime? Night time? It all depends?
Whitney: Daytime one-night stands?
James: That takes some skills.
Jessie: That takes a lot of skills.
James: You have to be a master.
Jessie: Challenge accepted.
Matt: I just dropped the kids of at school and let's go get a one-night stand.
James: Any girl you pick up at the bar during the day probably has no teeth.
Whitney: Or you're leaving cash on the night stand when it's done.
Jessie: Okay, so you're trying to make it as freaky as possible, the guys are.
Matt: Yeah. I'm a bit of kink, myself, anyway. I enjoy kinky sex. So, I'm going in full fledged.
James: I play it by ear.
Whitney: Nobody is looking to have a one-night stand that they're going to make love with.
Jessie: That's very true.
James: What if you only know how to make love?
Matt: Honestly, you have to do something that you're going to be remembered by. If I was to hook up with a celebrity, I'd do something crazy.
Jessie: What would you do, Matt?
James: Two girls, one cup.
Matt: I don't know. If I hooked up with some big celebrity, I would probably do something very crazy that would hit the tabloids, so people would know.
Jessie: What if a girl asked you to do anal sex on a one-night stand? Would you do it?
Whitney: I think that's different for guys and girls. All guys would say yes. All girls would say no. Well, not all girls, but a big majority of them.
Jessie: So, after you have this freaky or not freaky sex, are you booking it out of there?
Matt: Let me just say right now, just because it's anal, it's not freaky.
Jessie: It's freaky if it's a one-night stand, and it's the first time you have sex. I think it is.
Matt: "Slap me in the face and call me Susan," is kinky.
Jessie: You're not going to have anal sex with somebody that you first meet. That's slutty.
James: I've met girls who think taking it in the butt is the idea of saving their virginity.
Whitney: Jessica Simpson.
Jessie: That's crazy.
Matt: That's messed up.
James: It's true.
Whitney: For three years before Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were married, they would do it in the backdoor.
Matt: She's come out about that?
Whitney: Well, no. But, Nick Lachey did.
Jessie: I don't believe that.
Whitney: That Nick Lachey said it? Girl, watch that interview.
Jessie: He lies.
James: I can't believe a girl would say they couldn't have sex with you, and they've never had sex with a man, but you can stick it in their butt, and that's cool.
Jessie: Do you know how bad that's going to hurt? Oh, my good.
Matt: Ladies, if there's anybody out there listening that wants to back us up on this claim, we want to hear your questions and comments at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Matt: Let's hear it.
James: Okay. So, we've talked about one-night stands.
Jessie: How to get one.
James: Foreplay. Let's do yes or no. Do you think there should be foreplay on a one-night stand? Jessie?
Jessie: I think either or. I'm impartial.
Matt: I'm all for foreplay. I'm all for kinky sex.
James: I think foreplay is pretty much a normal part of sex, unless you're with a questionable person.
Matt: Unless you're married.
Jessie: Unless you do the test and it smells really funky.
James: If you do the test, or whatever. I'm going to get some flack for talking about that. We have to ask Whitney.
Matt: Oh, yeah. Whitney, let's hear it.
Whitney: No, it's a waste of time. If I'm having a one-night stand, it's because I want to have sex with you, not because I want to blow you.
Matt: We're talking about tests here. What about STDs and STIs. Are condoms required?
Jessie: On a one-night stand, you're wearing a condom for sure.
James: You should.
Jessie: You have to be wearing a condom.
James: I don't like how Matt was like "What?"
Jessie: You're going to go to the doctor's, and they're going to be like "Oh, girlfriend, you have the clap."
Matt: I did exactly what I do on a one-night stand. I asked, then didn't listen to the answer. You want me to wear a condom? Cool. I'm in.
Jessie: I'm going to be putting it on for you if we ever have a one-night stand, to make sure.
Matt: And you'll take it in the butt.
James: I think we have ourselves a date here on the podcast.
James: Should Whitney and I leave?
Jessie: No, that's Okay.
Matt: No, I like people to watch.
James: I not turning off the mikes, either. So, it's going to be all part of the podcast.
Matt: All right. Well, we have to talk about those STD things more in another episode. It's an important topic, obviously.
James: Plus, I have about five to tell you guys about.
Jessie: Oh, gosh. Anybody who ever has sex with James knows he has to wear a condom, girls. And, you can see his picture on Twitter, so, you know exactly who he is?
Matt: So, do you spend the night? Are you taking off in the morning?
Jessie: I'm taking off right after the sex. I learned my lesson.
Whitney: I agree with that, 110%.
Jessie: When you wake up the next morning, you have to beat around the bush. Do you have to kiss goodbye and hug and stuff. If you leave at night, you can just say that was really fun and that you had a great night. You can give them a hug or whatever. You can be like, "I got to work in the morning, so I got to go. See you."
Matt: Does it make the girl feel more slutty if she leaves right after?
Jessie: You already did something slutty, so who cares?
Matt: That's true. A one-night stand is slutty. That's the only thing it is. It's not anything else by slutty. Well, we're about to hit the 25-minute mark, so we're about to get out of here.
Jessie: If you guys like what you hear, we're going to have a lot more podcasts in the future. Like Matt said before, everything about dating, sex, relationships, same-sex couples. What else guys? STDs, we'll talk about.
James: First dates. We'll talk about last dates and break ups.
Whitney: They're going to teach us more tests.
Jessie: Oh, gosh.
James: I am out of tests. We all also have Twitters.
Matt: You know what, if you want to find out more about us and the podcast, checkout dating-bytes.com. You'll be able to see profiles on each of us, Twitter to follow us, Facebook pages, and all the rest. We want to thank sexsearch.com for backing us up and financing this thing. Let's take it from there and we'll go next time, guys.
Jessie: See you later.
Whitney: Bye, guys.
James: Love you.
Jessie: Love you long time.