Episode 4 of Dating Bytes listens in on the cast talking about the joys of oral sex. The guys and girls give tips on how to make oral sex better, how to prepare for it before it all ‘goes down’ and what to do when you’re about to release! Join in as host Matt Scanlan aka DJ Love Hz discusses the situation with co-host Jessie Graham, producer James Rodney and our guest from GossipOverload.com, Whitney Tulio.
Matt: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to Dating Bytes, the podcast about dating in an online world. I am sitting here with my co-hosts once again, Jessie Graham. How are you, Jessie?
Jessie: I'm really good. How are you?
Matt: I'm super fantastic. Did you have a good weekend?
Jessie: I had a fantastic weekend.
Matt: Did you have any hot dates?
Matt: Good. That's good. Maybe the podcast is picking things up for you.
Jessie: I think so.
Matt: Getting that confidence up there. Get her in?
Jessie: No. I'm not going to be slutty, Matt.
Matt: No one night stands for this one.
Jessie: No. Not right now. Not this month. Maybe next month, I'll change it up.
James: She's on a diet.
Matt: That's our producer, James Rodney coming in. How are you, James?
James: I'm all right. I'm pretty good. I'm eating some Kraft slices of cheese.
Jessie: It looks really disgusting.
James: It's awful. But, I'm hungry.
Matt: Joining us once again is Whitney Tulio from gossipoverload.com. How are you, Whitney?
Whitney: Good, Matt. How are you?
Matt: I'm super fantastic. Thank you for asking. Today, we're talking about oral sex. Yes. Heavy topic. Let me pose this question to Whitney. She seems to be a little more conservative to the rest of us. Whitney, in a new relationship, when is it appropriate to go down on somebody?
Whitney: That's a good question. Somewhere far after the first kiss, but much before sex. I find that a lot of guys now, as soon as you go down on them, the same night they think they're getting her in. The floodgates are open. But, I think it's somewhere between maybe the fourth and the fifth date.
James: She has it down to a science. No blowjobs before the fourth date unless we didn't kiss. Then, we have to wait another four dates after that.
Matt: So, you look at it like one of the stops in base before you go home.
Whitney: Exactly. I think it's necessary to take some time to explore that side of a relationship.
Jessie: I think high school is like that.
Matt: So, if having sex is home plate, what base number is going down on somebody?
Jessie: 2 is handjobs and fingering, and 1 is making out?
Whitney: 2 is handjobs and fingering, but I do not see the point of that, anymore. Unless you're 13, seriously? You're going to finger bang me? Get down there.
James: Plus, it's going to lead to a blowjob, anyway.
Jessie: Not in her eyes, it's not going to.
Matt: That's the thing. The guy is thinking that it's going to lead to getting home, anyway. I'm already on third base. I'm going to get home, right?
Whitney: That's what I'm saying. Nobody takes their time anymore.
Matt: All of a sudden, a little lead off base, and you're tagged out.
James: I don't expect to necessarily steal to home, but I might sneak from second to third every once in a while, you know?
Whitney: I just think there needs to be a little time between going from oral to going to sex.
Jessie: And, it's nice to give them something to their imagination, you know?
Whitney: Yes. It's like a little preview of what's to come.
Jessie: Then, they have to come back for more. You give them a little handjob and a makeout, and then they think next time they'll get a blowjob, and the time after that, they'll get sex. So, they have to go back.
Matt: So, James, when would you go down on a woman in a fresh relationship?
Jessie: First date.
James: Before we leave the restaurant?
Jessie: In the bathroom, under the table.
Matt: So, you've gotten her to the restaurant.
Jessie: Under the table.
James: It just depends, I guess.
Matt: Would you go down on her on the first date?
James: I don't know. It depends.
Jessie: Heat of the moment.
James: Yeah, it's the heat of the moment. But, I'm not going to be like "I'm going to eat you out now."
Jessie: So, take off your pants.
James: I don't know. Yeah, I guess.
Matt: What about you, Jessie?
Jessie: What's the question?
Matt: Is it appropriate to go down on somebody on the first date?
Matt: So, how long? I'll pose the same question I posed to Whitney. Where on your bases, if having sex is home plate? Is it base 3.
Jessie: If you're going out with somebody and you just want to have a sexual relationship with them, then you can do it. But, if you actually like the person, you have to leave something to the imagination.
James: That's true.
Jessie: So, maybe the first date I wouldn't even say a kiss. Maybe you could kiss. But, definitely not any oral or real sex. Second date, kiss. Third date, mess around. Fourth date, sex.
James: I understand that.
Jessie: Fifth date, sex. Sixth date, sex.
Matt: So, let me ask you a question, here, Mr. Rodney.
James: What's up?
Matt: If you're with a girl and she's about to go down on you for the first time, and you know it's about to happen, do you freshen up?
James: Yeah. It's hard to know when it's going to happen. Usually they don't say, "look, I'm going to blow you late." But, if I'm going on a date in general, chances are I'm going to freshen up, just in case. Or, I like to keep my shit fresh on a regular basis, anyway, you know?
Jessie: Good to know.
Matt: But, what if you guys have gone hiking for the day?
James: For me, I'm kind of self conscious about having a smelly dick. I don't want her to say "he was pretty cool, but" So, my answer is yes.
Matt: Jessie, let me ask you. Do you freshen up?
Jessie: Oh, yeah. For sure.
Matt: How do you go about such a thing? Do you ask for a pause in the heat of the moment?
Jessie: Oh, no.
Matt: Do you just say you have to go to the washroom and ask for a second?
Jessie: If you go out on a date and then you go back to their house or something, you say you have to go to the bathroom.
Matt: Right away. Just get it out of the way, right?
Jessie: Yeah. Just go right away, because you never know when you're going to start messing around. You can have your little baby wipes in your purse. If you don't have baby wipes, you can just splash some water down there, and clean a little bit.
James: I've always wondered why girls have baby wipes in their purse.
Matt: That's actually a good observation. Whitney, is that a true observation? If a girl has baby wipes in her purse, is she most likely carrying them around to freshen up to hopefully get her box eaten?
Whitney: Most of the time, yes. But, some girls, like James said, just want to be fresh all the time. Guys have it way easier than girls. They go to the bathroom, and they're done. With girls, there's anatomy that you want to clean more thoroughly than you would with paper towels.
James: You're underestimating how much balls sweat, I think.
Jessie: Yeah, but I think girls are worse. Not for sweating, but.
Matt: No matter what, when you go down, a woman is supposed to be moist.
Matt: If you go down on a guy, and he has sweaty balls...
Jessie: That sucks.
Whitney: I think it's not so much the baby wipes in the purse that's going to be the hint, as it would be their overall grooming down there. If they're overall pristine, just groomed, then clearly, they were planning on having you seeing it.
Matt: That's a good point. So, here's a question about grooming, then, do you groom before you go out on a date, just in case?
Jessie: Yeah. But, if you don't want to have sex with them, and you think you might, you don't groom. Then, you can say you want to have sex with this guy but I can't, because you didn't shave. It's perfect.
Whitney: You Bridget Jones yourself. A lot of girls do that.
James: I've heard of girls doing that. They say they don't want to sleep with him tonight, so I won't shave my legs.
Jessie: I do it all the time. I probably will, so I just won't shave.
Matt: I've been with a couple girls who tried that on me, and it's never worked. They say "they didn't", and I just say "it's OK."
Jessie: I don't even say it. I just say to have a good night. If I do plan on having sex, I ask what they want to do, now.
Matt: Lead into it.
Jessie: You don't just put it out there that you didn't shave so that means you can't have sex. You just beat around the bush.
Whitney: Beat around the what?
Jessie: No pun intended.
James: That's a good one.
Matt: There obviously has to be some kind of politeness to the whole situation. So, how about giving directions. If somebody is going down on you, is it appropriate to give directions the first time and let them know where they're going wrong?
Jessie: Not the first time.
Whitney: I think it is the first time. If the guy is taking a while to go, and he understands that she's just not doing what he likes, it's a waste of the girl's time to be down there for half an hour because the guy doesn't just tell her to use her a mouth a little bit tighter.
Rodney: Oh, that's the secret.
Matt: So, you would prefer if a guy gave you directions, then?
Whitney: If it was taking him a while and he knew he wasn't going to climax because what I was doing isn't what he prefers, then, yes. Most definitely, I would.
Matt: What about yourself? Would you give direction to a guy going down on you?
Whitney: No, but that's again the double standard.
Jessie: I think that would be a little aggressive the first time. If it's a serious relationship, if it's your boyfriend or girlfriend, that's a different story. But, not if you're just dating the person.
Matt: I'm sure you can play it up, too. I'm sure you can play it up with a little bit of dirty talk, like "I like it when you do this, when they do something.
Jessie: Yeah, exactly.
Matt: I could see that.
Jessie: Positive reinforcement.
Matt: What about you, James? Would you ever tell somebody how to properly go down on you?
James: I probably wouldn't ask, out of pride. I wouldn't ask for directions, like "Excuse me, can you direct me to the clitoris?"
Jessie: That would be a buzzkill, anyway, if you did that.
James: Yeah. But, I don't know.
Whitney: OK. Then, for Matt and James, if you guys aren't going to give directions, what are just general good tips for oral sex?
Jessie: But, they're getting a blowjob. A blowjob is going to be good, no matter what. Unless they bite it off.
James: Guys are pretty simple.
James: Just don't suck at it.
Whitney: Don't suck when you're giving a blowjob.
James: What do you think, Matt?
Jessie: Just get into it.
Matt: I don't know. There's a lot of different ways to pay attention to that guy.
Whitney: Basically, if a girl did want direction, you guys would have no idea what to say to her.
Matt: No, I would tell her exactly what to do.
James: Don't ignore the balls. That's what I always hear.
Matt: As Jessie holds a water bottle up to her mouth. So, obviously, you'd want to pay attention to the dome, a little attention to the balls, of course deepthroat gets you bonus puts, if you can go down and not gag. Or, heck, even a gag is fun. It depends, really.
Whitney: Keep that in mind, ladies. Sometimes a gag is fun.
Matt: For those girls that can enjoy a cock at the back of their throat, you are unicorns.
James: I found a unicorn last night.
Whitney: It's very rare.
Matt: It's very rare. Very hard to find. There are are those girls out there that love a cock being slammed into the back of their throat.
James: Honestly, just make it seem like you're enjoying it. That's it. That's enough for guys.
Whitney: So, no eye rolling? No asking if their done yet?
James: Some guys, I'm sure, would get off on the fact that they're not enjoying it.
Jessie: I have a question. Do you guys like it when the girl looks at it when she gives you a blowjob?
James: I think all across the board that's a yes.
Matt: Look right into my eyes. It kind of freaks me out a bit.
James: I wouldn't say to stare the whole time.
Matt: Not the whole time.
James: Is this what you like?
Whitney: If you could see the look on James Rodney's face right now, you would be petrified. Be thankful this is a podcast. It's like Macaulay Culkin's face on the cover of Home Alone. That's what it's like.
Matt: OK. So, going on the theme of politeness and directions, should a guy ask for permission to cum?
Jessie: Not ask, "Can I cum?"
Matt: No, no. But, "can I cum in your mouth? Can I cum in your mouth? I'm going to cum?" What's a good way for a guy to let a girl know?
Jessie: I think the guy should say he's going to cum, and the girl can say OK.
Matt: She can make the decision.
Jessie: Yeah. If she keeps it in her mouth, that means you can cum in her mouth. If she says you can cum on her chest or something, I think the guy should say it's going to happen.
Matt: Say he's going to cum, and she can point the gun in whatever direction she wants.
James: You can just ask, too.
Whitney: This is all way too complicated.
James: No, "Where do you want me to cum, woman?" Well, that could work, I guess.
Jessie: It could.
Matt: So, let me ask you another question, ladies. Do you spit or swallow?
Whitney: If it's already going in your mouth, if you've left it in your mouth and he's going to cum in your mouth, why spit it out? It's already there, you already have the taste, why not just swallow? Come on.
James: Thank you.
Jessie: I have a question for guys. Do you prefer to cum in a girl's mouth, or on her chest, or on her face?
Matt: Definitely in her mouth.
James: All of the above.
Jessie: Does it matter?
Matt: I'd prefer to cum 3 times in a night. I don't know why guys get off on a girl swallowing. When a guy releases, he releases. It's pretty much the same, more or less. But, guys definitely get off on that. I don't know if it's the degrading fact that a woman is taking your seed into her mouth. I don't know if that's what guys get off on.
Whitney: Do you think that's degrading?
Matt: There's definitely something about it. There's something about it.
Jessie: In the mouth is degrading?
James: It's only degrading if the girl doesn't like it.
Whitney: So, if you have a girl that you think is a take-home kind of girl, and you want to introduce her to your parents and I want to marry this girl, and she's blowing you and swallows it, you're going to look at her differently?
Matt: Well, there was the great movie, Summer of Sam with John Leguizamo. He refuses to have sex with his wife in his ass, even that's what he really likes. She could like it, but he just doesn't want to look at her in that light. So, he cheats on her and fucks girls in the ass.
Jessie: Fuck, no. That's ridiculous.
Matt: That's the thing. He doesn't want to ever degrade his wife in any way.
Jessie: But, he's degrading her by cheating on her.
Matt: This is also a movie that was taking place in the 70's when people thought a lot differently.
Jessie: That's true.
James: Was that a romantic movie?
Matt: God, no. It's a very deeply disturbing movie. It's a great movie. I know there are guys out there that won't cum in a woman's mouth because they have kids, and she's going to go kiss the kids after, or something. They look at it like that's disgusting. There are definitely guys out there that get off on looking at her taking his seed. That definitely plays a big role. How big of a role with every guy? I'm not too sure. But, I know that definitely plays a role with individuals.
Matt: So, is it appropriate to just pull up? He tells you he's about to cum, and you just pop your head back up and avoid it like it's the black plague?
Whitney: Yes. It's not their responsibility to have to take it. If you're already down there, you might as well. But, if you don't want that in your mouth or on your body, he can put it on himself. He can cum in his hand, I don't know.
Matt: So, it's appropriate for a girl to just pop her head up?
Whitney: For sure, it is.
Matt: So, what about for a guy? What if he goes down on a girl and it's a little funky?
James: So, he pulls he head away right before you cum?
Whitney: Just goes down and goes back up?
Matt: No, not before she cums. But, he was going to go down on you, and just before he pulls up.
Jessie: Whoa, never mind.
James: It's the same thing as a girl pulling her head away.
Matt: No, because she's already sucking a cock. I'm saying if a guy goes down, and just before he licks he gets a wiff. Can he shoot his head back up?
Whitney: You need a backup plan. If you're going to do that, you need a reason for coming up, or game over. She's not going to let you go any further than that, if that's what you're doing.
Jessie: She's going to kick you out of the bed, or out of the house.
Matt: We were talking about this the other day, James and I, and James suggested shower sex.
James: That's true. You can always say "should go take a shower."
Matt: That way, you can get into the soap first, and get all sensual and sexual.
James: I just really like having sex when I'm covered in soap.
Jessie: That might be really weird, though. if some guy said that to me, I might wonder where we're going with this.
Matt: Do you mind taking a loofah to your pussy?
James: To the shower?
Jessie: Oh, OK.
Matt: Funkiness plays a huge role.
James: You could always do a test before you go down there.
Matt: Yes, the test we've talked about.
James: James Rodney's world famous vagina test.
Whitney: So, this test? I forget what it is.
James: It's not like I do this.
Jessie: He does it all the time. He's lying.
Matt: You were so hesitant in explaining it last time.
James: OK. What the test is when you're not sure about this girl, and she seems like she might have a smelly vagina, so you put your hands down there and take care of business a bit. Then, if you want, you can wipe it on your own pillow or on your sheets and smell that instead of just holding you finger to your nose.
Jessie: Can't you just smell it on your finger?
James: Yeah, so you just pull your fingers out of a girl's vagina and say you have an itchy nose. Are you serious?
Jessie: I wouldn't notice.
Whitney: Yeah, you would, girl.
Matt: You would.
James: You wouldn't notice somebody smelling your vagina with their fingers?
Matt: There you go.
James: I guess you don't need the test.
Matt: I think she's trying to tell us that she doesn't stink.
James: Or, that she doesn't care.
James: Did you say both?
Matt: What about kissing after? Mr, Rodney, would you accept kissing after? Let's say she swallowed. She's had it in her mouth, she's swallowed, and she wants to come and give you a kiss after.
Jessie: Pucker up, James.
Matt: Like open mouth, tongue and everything, buddy.
James: I feel like there should be a slight buffer time. Not straight from dick to my mouth.
Jessie: That's understandable. Gargle some Listerine, then it's OK.
James: A small kiss, or whatever. No tongue. That's getting to messed up territory. I don't want to have fragments of my own semen in my mouth.
Matt: For yourselves, ladies?
Jessie: I don't give a fuck.
Matt: Let's say a guy comes up to you with a glazed doughnut all over his face.
Whitney: Oh, god!
Jessie: That's too much. He needs to wipe it off, first.
Matt: He needs to wipe it off. Would you wipe it off? If he just came up, what if he got off on it? What if he just loved the fact that everything was all over and just went for the kiss?
Whitney: No. Sorry. I don't need that.
Matt: Whitney is coming out to be such a prude.
Jessie: No. She's not.
Whitney: That's my deep dirty secret. I'm a huge prude.
Jessie: You are not.
Whitney: Oh, girl, you just wait.
Jessie: You aren't. No, you're not. You've told me some stories.
Matt: What about in the long term? Do you still go down on somebody if you're in a relationship or married for 10 or 20 years?
Jessie: Yeah, obviously.
Matt: Do you save it for special occasions?
Jessie: It probably wouldn't happen as often if you were married, and stuff. But, you can still do it.
Matt: Do you still groom?
Whitney: 100%. If you quit grooming, you're basically saying "Listen, I don't feel like fucking you anymore, and I'm only doing it because I legally have to."
Matt: That's pretty funny.
Jessie: Even if I'm not having sex with a guy, I'm still going to groom. It makes you feel comfortable.
James: Can I ask a question? Since we're talking about grooming, what kind of grooming do girls like on guys?
Whitney: Just clean and trim.
James: In porn, they're always bald eagle.
Jessie: it doesn't have to be bald eagle, but just groomed. That's all.
Whitney: Guys always think that shaving it off is going to make them look bigger. It doesn't. If you keep it trimmed and tight, it still makes it look masculine.
Jessie: Yes. True. Not too much.
Whitney: It's still the same for your size.
James: So, you're saying just trim.
Jessie: Trimmed is short enough, though.
Matt: No big ass bushes.
James: What about ball hair.
Whitney: Get rid of that.
James: It's a scary area to shave.
Jessie: It doesn't matter as much.
Matt: What if a guy has a hairy ass, hairy thighs, and shit? Is he grooming that whole thing? There has to be some fucking hairy guys out there. If they go bald eagle, it doesn't look right.
Jessie: It just looks like they have a bald patch.
James: It looks like they have assless chaps on, but it's just their hair.
Whitney: Just take your time with it. Do your job. If you groom your private and soldiers and it doesn't look right with the rest of it, groom the rest of it until everything looks even. Same thing a girl would do.
Jessie: Just trim it.
Whitney: She's not going to leave nothing there, and then decide she's going to go feminist on her legs and not shave that.
Jessie: True that.
Whitney: You need to match it. You need to look proper.
Matt: Yeah. I could see that. Any questions from the rest of my panel, here? Has anybody thought of anything?
Whitney: I have a question about oral sex on the first time you're doing it. Can you get funky with it?
Jessie: What do you mean funky?
Matt: Like, start spitting on it, and shit?
Whitney: There's a very, very, very famous Hollywood direct who has gotten quite the reputation lately. His deal is that he brings girls back to his pad. It's a nice, huge mansion. They're already swept off their fight, because this guy is rich and famous. Everybody knows his name. He asks them if he can suck their toes while he jerks off.
Jessie: Is it Quentin Tarantino?
Whitney: It's Quentin Tarantino. Good job, girl. Yes. I was going to be a little discreet there, but apparently we don't need to. He gets girls to come over, and then Quentin Tarantino sucks his toes as he jerks off. If they try to touch him, he says no, just let him do it. That's his thing. Can you get that freaky the first time you're hooking up with someone?
Matt: I believe when you're somebody on his level, absolutely. That guy is popping bottles of Crystal, and has Bruce Willis on speed dial. He can fucking do whatever he wants. That guy can lick my fucking toes, while I jerk off.
Whitney: Ew. No, thank you.
Jessie: He's nasty. Ew.
Matt: He's not a fucking good looking guy, at all.
James: You have to expect that guy to be a freak. Just look at his movies.
Matt: That's what I mean. When you live that kind of life and you've gone all over the world, you could probably do even crazier things.
Jessie: You can do whatever you want.
James: As a normal person, do you think that's OK?
Matt: Absolutely. I say go for it.
Whitney: If you have a weird fetish, and you know it's going to be a one and done thing.
Matt: If she's not down for it on the first night, she's not going to be down for it, at all. If she's down for it on the first night, she's good to go.
James: That's not true. Not every girl was ready to get their feet sucked that night.
Matt: That's the thing. If that's your thing, and she doesn't want to get her feet sucked, you're never going to meet halfway.
James: Yeah, but maybe she has disgusting, dirty feet and she is embarrassed by them.
Matt: But, if you have a foot fetish, why would you want to be with her?
James: Maybe you like her dirty, disgusting feet. I don't know. I'm just saying, if you guys went out on a date and she was wearing heels and stuff.
Matt: I say go for it. We talked about it on the one night stand podcast.
James: If it's a one night stand, for sure. If you're on a date because you like the person, maybe go easy. But, if it's just a one night stand, who gives a fuck? Do whatever you want. You have nothing to lose.
Jessie: Take all your skeletons out of the closet.
James: I like dead bitches! You said to take all your skeletons out of the closet.
Whitney: That's called illegal.
Jessie: Is it illegal?
Whitney: To kill people and fuck them? Yes.
Jessie: But, what if they're already dead?
Matt: I believe there are some countries where you can have sex with the persons body for 30 minutes after.
Whitney: If you're in Egypt, that's up to 6 hours after, only if you've been married for a certain time frame.
Jessie: That's fucking weird.
Whitney: But, still, that's messed up. And, that's the only place in the world.
Matt: I don't think that's the only place. I just bet you there are other places where it's not illegal.
Jessie: Well, we'll Google it and get back to you on that one, everyone.
Matt: I don't know if we could do a whole episode on fucking dead people.
James: We can about fucking donkeys. I watched a documentary about a whole country of people where it's normal. You prepare for adulthood by fucking a donkey.
Jessie: Honest to God?
Jessie: Can you send it to me?
James: Yes. It's a vice documentary.
Matt: It is a vice documentary. It's absolutely real.
James: It's crazy.
Matt: Well, ladies and gentlemen, if you've enjoyed our episode, once again, you can check out all of our contact information and everything else at dating-bytes.com.
James: Dating Bytes.
Matt: Yes. Tune in for another episode very soon. Make sure you share this episode with everybody else and let everyone know you've been listening to the oral sex podcast. Take care, everybody. Thank you, very much.